Love Your Life

I think it's fair to say that what we all want most in this world is to love the life we have. But what does that mean exactly, and how do we get it? Clearly it means something different to each of us, however, how we get it is pretty much the same...

1. Radical Acceptance

Most of us want a life filled with love, joy, fun, fulfillment, success, family, adventure, purpose, and meaning. It also seems that we never get to have these things without going through some rough spots, making mistakes, picking ourselves back up, trying again, and accepting that this is just how life is... we take the bad with the good. We then begin to notice that we might not know the good without the bad so maybe the bad.... isn't so bad.

2. Know Yourself

It takes a while for this to happen. We're born, we start learning, we go to school, we take up hobbies and learn skills, we go to college, get married, and have kids of our own. By then we might have an idea of who we are, but we're usually so busy with other stuff we don't get the chance to fully embrace it. If you're at this stage and still not quite sure, write down everything you know about yourself, this is the first step to having the life you choose. You can also take personality tests like The Meyers Briggs 16 Personalities test, this will give you more insight into why you think, act, and have the values you have. Also, ask family and friends how they would describe you, this gives you an idea of how others view you. It's important to know who you are so you can make the best life choices for yourself.

3. Know Your Values

Part of knowing yourself is knowing what you value in life, and staying true to who you are means making choices that align with your values. Doing this will put you on the path to the life that was made for you. To figure out your top 10 values, write down everything you value most in life... family, sleep, love, peace, excitement, work, etc. and order them by highest to lowest value. Focus on your top 10 and notice if they align with your life or not. If you want to do a full values assessment, I've attached one you can download in the link below.

4. Know Your Life Goals

We also need to know what we want in life so we can head in the right direction. Make a list of life goals, and this doesn't mean just accomplishments, include where you want to live, where you want to travel, goals for work and career, family trips and gatherings, friends you want to stay connected with, things you want to do with your kids, etc., and then see if your on the right track.

5. Know Your Support System

You can't live your best life if you feel you have little, or no support. Make a list of the top 5 people in your life that are consistently there for you. I know 5 doesn't seem like a lot, but research has shown that most people can count on one hand their "people" and it seems that's all we really need for a happy and successful life. If you have more, even better, but it helps when times get tough to remember those 4 or 5 people you know you can count on.

6. Know Your Purpose

We all, or at least most of us, want to know we're making a difference in the world in some way, and it's important to remember that we ARE! Make a list of all the things you do all day... and who you do it for (hopefully you're on the list and your doing something for yourself too!) Now put a check mark by the things you want to be doing or have to be doing. Next put a star by the things that serve a purpose... things that fill a need you have (for instance, working out or going to lunch), things that serve a value you have (taking care of kids or others etc), or things that fulfill a goal you have (working or going to school, etc). Now look at anything else left on the list and think about if it really needs to be done. If it doesn't have to be done and doesn't fill a purpose in the life you want for yourself... get rid of it! Living our purpose doesn't have to be something grand. It means living the life that fits our personality, gifts, goals, and values. So make sure everything on that list fits into one of those categories and know that your serving your purpose!

In the end, the way to having a life that we love is to live life on our terms, and the sooner we realize life isn't about being perfect, but experiencing it for all it is, the sooner we will recognize that it's through our bumps, bruises, and scars that this life will emerge. By making a plan, taking control, and accepting life as it comes, we'll see a life form that's uniquely ours and then, I dare say, we will love it...

Values Exercise

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