Freedom
I often find that whenever I give someone advice, I need that same advice myself the very next day. That happened recently when I caught myself dwelling on the past. When I returned to the present, I remembered the advice I had given: radical acceptance.
Radical acceptance means acknowledging a situation without judging it. If something happened in the past, there may be little—or nothing—we can do to change it. At some point, we have to accept what happened, let it go, and move forward.
If something is happening in the present, however, there may be actions we can take, depending on how much control we have. Radical acceptance becomes especially valuable when we can’t control the situation itself but can control how we respond to it.
Acknowledging reality isn’t always comfortable, but it ultimately gives us choices we wouldn’t have if we refused to face the truth. When we have all the information, we can make better decisions about the direction we want our lives to take. Instead of feeling helpless and afraid, we begin to feel empowered and free.
Reinhold Niebuhr expressed this beautifully in The Serenity Prayer:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
When we accept reality, it becomes clearer what we need to do and what is best for us. Although we may feel as though we have little control over what’s happening, we often have more control than we realize.
We can choose who, when, and where we spend our time. We can choose whether to remain in a situation or leave it. We can choose what information we absorb and do our own research to determine whether it is accurate. We can choose to remain hopeful and look for ways to contribute to our own happiness and well-being, as well as the happiness and well-being of others.
We can stand peacefully for love, equality, and inclusion. We can look for ways to become part of the solution rather than part of the problem. We can ask ourselves, “What can I do to make things better for myself and those around me?”
Sometimes, being placed in a situation that makes us feel trapped encourages us to think outside the box, become creative, and search for a third option—the possibility no one else has considered, the one thing that could change everything.
But we may discover that possibility only after we have the courage to open ourselves to radical acceptance. From there, a new perspective can begin to form, possibilities can emerge, and we may feel the excitement of true freedom.
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