A Constant

I think we've all been in a position at one time or another when we've needed the love and support of those around us. Sometimes we're simply having a bad day, however, other times we may have truly lost everything, or completely hit rock bottom. Either way, the love and support of family and friends can make a huge difference in how we are able to handle our situation and whether or not we're able to heal and move forward. It's also important for us to have people in our lives who are there for us no matter what... a constant source of unconditional love and dependability. Google defines constant as, "not changing or varying, a fixed value, a consistent state, or a quality of being dependable and unwavering". These types of people are like gold.. the ones you want to hold onto, and the type of person you want to be.

Although, even when we're a "constant" in someone's life, sometimes it's hard to know exactly what they need when they're in need of help. I remember when I had cancer and had plenty of family, friends, and neighbors dropping off meals, offering to watch my girls, and checking in to see if I needed anything I was more than grateful for the help, however, what I didn't realize at the time was what I really needed was someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. I was barely getting by, stuck in survival mode, and didn't want to burden anyone (we never do) and, yes I survived, but I was exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now I wonder how much better off I could have been if I would have just voiced my needs. Because of this, I didn't get the kind of support I really needed and was left to pick up the pieces all alone. I wonder how many other people feel this way?

Dr. Ramini, a clinical Psychologist, discusses how to connect with someone who is going through a hard time and suggests using the 3 H's which stand for, helping, hugging, or hearing. Asking whoever your wanting to help which "H" they need will give them the opportunity to voice their specific needs and get the help they'll truly benefit from. I thought this a great way of recognizing that people may need different things at different times depending on the situation and it may also open up the lines of communication giving us a better opportunity to let others know what we really need and offer support in a way that is most beneficial.

Being more aware of what people are going through and offering the exact kind of help they're in need of may make all the difference. Honestly, it could literally save a life. It's also important for us to recognize who the constants our in own life and make sure it goes both ways. Just knowing we have people we can count on and that we're not alone changes everything. Furthermore, using the 3 H's when we're wondering how to help... and getting the help that is most helpful... may be the best way to love and support each other. After all using the 3 H's will also promote Health. Happiness, and Hope!

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