Acceptance
Updated: Oct 5
Do you ever have one of those weeks when, no matter how hard you try to keep everything and everyone on track, things still go wrong? And then, to make matters worse, it feels as though no one appreciates your effort—or worse, some people are even annoyed by it.
It’s difficult not to feel underappreciated, undervalued, unheard, and misunderstood in moments like these. No matter how carefully we explain ourselves, few people seem to understand, and we’re left feeling like a disappointment. If only they could see everything happening behind the scenes, they might realize how hard we’re trying.
But the truth is, we rarely know what other people are carrying—the emotional struggles they’re facing or everything they’re doing just to keep life moving. Because we can’t see the whole picture, we should offer one another grace. More importantly, we need to extend that same grace to ourselves and remember that we’re doing the best we can.
As difficult as it is to manage our own emotions in situations like these, I’ve learned that it’s nearly impossible to manage everyone else’s, too. I remember having a light-bulb moment when a therapist asked me why I felt responsible for taking care of other people’s emotions. I had never considered it before, and the question caught me off guard. But once she asked, I realized how true it was.
I think women, in particular, are often conditioned to believe we must make everything perfect for everyone else—to keep everyone happy, maintain harmony, and jump through endless hoops to prevent conflict. But it’s impossible to be everything to everyone all the time, just as it’s impossible to make everyone happy. Each person is responsible for caring for and regulating their own emotions.
When we find ourselves wanting to explain our actions because we desperately want others to understand our intentions, it’s worth asking: Why do we need to be understood? If we know we’ve done our best and our intentions are good, does everyone else’s opinion really determine our worth?
The more I reflect on this, the more I realize that what we’re often seeking is validation—the reassurance that we’re good people, even when we aren’t perfect. Once we recognize that, we can begin to release the need for everyone else’s approval. We know our own hearts and intentions, and sometimes, that has to be enough.
When we let go of the need to prove ourselves, we make room for people who genuinely appreciate, understand, and validate us—and, most importantly, accept us exactly as we are.
Comments