Acceptance

Do you ever have those weeks where It seems like no matter what you do to try and work things out so that everyone and everything is taken care of, things still go wrong? And then to make matters worse it feels as though nobody appreciates the effort? And to top it off with some people are even annoyed by it? It's hard not to feel underappreciated, undervalued, unheard, and misunderstood when things like this happen because no matter how much we may try to explain, few people get it, and we still end up feeling like a disappointment. If only people could see all that is being done behind the scenes they would most likely understand how hard we try. Here's the problem, we never really know what's going on in other people's lives, what they may be going through emotionally, and all that they're doing just to keep the trains running on time because we're not there to see it. This is something we should keep in mind so we can give each other grace, and more importantly, so that we can give ourselves grace, knowing we're doing our best.

As hard as it is to manage our own emotions when it comes to dealing with situations like this, I've learned it's all but impossible to try to manage everyone else's emotions too. I remember having a light bulb moment when a therapist once asked me why I feel like I have to take care of everyone else's emotions. I had never thought of this before, and it caught me off guard. I didn't even realize I did this, but once they said it I realized it was true. I think as women we are especially prone to this, always thinking we have to make things perfect for everyone else, make sure everyone else is happy, and jump through hoops to keep the harmony. It's impossible, however, to be all things to all people all the time, and to make sure everyone is happy all the time. People need to learn how to make themselves happy and take care of their own emotions... it's called emotion regulation.

When we find ourselves in situations like this and feel the need to try to explain ourselves because we want so much to be understood and for people to know our good intentions, the question that's brought to mind is, why do we have to be understood? Who cares what people think, when we know we've done our best? The more I think about it the more I realize what we really want, or think we need, is validation that we're a good person... even if we're not perfect. Knowing this we can let go of that need and embrace the fact that we know our intentions, and that's all that matters. By doing this we'll bring people into our lives who truly do appreciate, validate, understand us, and more importantly, ACCEPT us just as we are...

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