Returning to Peace

The other day, I listened to a podcast from Martha Beck’s The Gathering Room about coming home to peace. She said that the only way to receive what we truly long for is to release our expectations about how life should unfold and allow life to bring it to us.

As I let that idea sink in, I realized this is what enlightened teachers mean when they talk about not being attached to things. I used to find that confusing. Of course we become attached to the people and things that matter deeply to us. It never seemed realistic to believe we should avoid attachment altogether.

Now I understand that they’re talking about releasing our attachment to things that haven’t happened yet—or to things that simply weren’t meant for us. When we insist that life follow a specific plan or remain fixated on what didn’t work out, we create unnecessary stress and anxiety. We also leave little room for something better to enter our lives.

As frustrating and heartbreaking as it can be when life doesn’t unfold as planned, surrendering to what is—and trusting that we may be guided toward what we truly need—can bring us peace. Sometimes, that peace is what allows the right things to find us.

The same is true when we’re moving on from mistakes, regrets, or unhealthy circumstances. We can recognize that our experiences still have purpose. It’s healthy, and sometimes necessary, to walk away from situations that no longer support the life we want. But as we heal and move forward, we can carry the wisdom those experiences have given us.

When Martha spoke about coming home to peace in order to find what we’re looking for, her words struck me deeply. After everything I’ve experienced, I realized that this is exactly what is happening in my life. As I release my need to control everything—and let go of what I thought life was supposed to look like—I feel myself being guided toward where I need to be and toward the people I’m meant to know.

Martha describes this process as intention, attention, and no-tention. First, we set an intention by imagining what we want. Then, we give it our attention by taking the necessary steps to pursue it. Finally, we practice “no-tention” by releasing our grip, letting go, and finding peace while life unfolds how it is meant to.

For whatever reason, we often have to let go and trust that we will be cared for before we actually see what's meant for us. We also have to remain open to the possibility that what we receive may arrive in an unexpected form. I don’t believe God does this to deceive us. I believe He allows us to make our own choices, and when our plans don’t work out, He rearranges things and presents it in a new way.

What we receive may not look exactly like what we asked for, but it may be much closer to what we’ve been longing for deep within our souls. And surprisingly, it may turn out to be even better than what we originally imagined.

Sometimes, the first step toward receiving what we truly want is learning to trust, let go, and Return to Peace.

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